Sunday, May 16, 2010

Do You Want Your Kid To Grow Just Like You?

That's what many parents want - to have their kids follow their footsteps and become like them. I personally don't, so I work hard to be a great father.

I grew up without a father, and it made me lonely, angry, and stressful. I am angry at the world all the time. I am still trying to change that but it is definitely not easy.

If you read the previous post, it wasn't a real post: Cat's In The Cradle. It is a song containing a meaningful story of how a child turned just like his parent. I've liked this song even before I had my own child, because it's about life and I am very sure it's happening at this very moment.

Some peers complained that their used-to-work parents are now asking to follow them wherever they go because they are bored. The same parents used to leave the children behind to go places even for entertainment or weekend outings.

Think about it this way, you'll get old one day and your children will be the one taking care of you. The difference is simple - it is not their responsibility to take care of you. They have their own life, and you expect them to take care of you? How selfish is that thought?

If right now you send your children to nurseries, daycare, and any other type of places remember that they can one day send you to similar places, but for old people.

If right now you leave your children during weekends and outings, remember that they can do the same. They can have maids too you know.

The same thing is discussed in several books I've read. Children who are connected and bonded to the parents can easily share thoughts and experiences with the parents. It leads to more understanding, more discussions, and more matured teenagers. Maturity will benefit to decrease social problems. Most teenagers are embarrassed or shy to talk to their parents, and ended up taking chances. If they take the correct choice, it's fine but what if they take the wrong one?

Of course, there are instances where it's inevitable to work but there is no excuse of not bonding with your children. If you don't want to, why make them in the first place? Popular reasons from Dads:
  1. So that the kids can take care of me when I get old
  2. To show people how manly I am.
  3. My sperm count is normal!
  4. Pressure from elders
  5. Pressure from family
  6. I am afraid that one day when I am old, I will regret not having a child
  7. My wife wanted a kid so that I couldn't make "child" a reason if I want to get a second wife
The most popular reason to have children is to have someone to look after you when you get old. And today, you don't spend quality time with them. Remember, I am specifically looking at Dads now. But with that most popular reason and what Dads currently do, I rest my case.

P/S: Mom and Dads, please find time to spend with your children and you shall not regret it.

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